Today I’m going to be a lean, mean, reposting machine. Well, except for the ‘lean’ part.

when I'm reading a book it's like, okay, when is it my turn to talk

It's like rich people don't even live in fear of peasant revolts anymore

How come people who are in their 20s can’t seem to close the lid on a toilet?

I'm not anti-social. I'm anti-people

if you ever feel dumb just know that there are people in this world who got caught cheating on their partner by way of an audio-taped “leave a message” answering machine and, also, you’re still pretty dumb

My left eye squiggly is ghosting me.

What's it like to have enough money to not sort by “Price: Low to High” every single time?

quote a fictional character you are in your head.

Why insecure. You look sooo fine m’lady. 🥰🥰🥰

a man is laying on his stomach on the grass while talking on a cell phone .

Alt: 😍😍😍