So what I am hearing is that you can use porn to get free pizza or pizza to get free porn

I can hear this in Peter Capaldi’s voice.

One hour and 15 minutes to get home today. It’s a 13 mile drive. Fuck you, Jacksonville.

"Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples, but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?" www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-...

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

I’m a well-informed Hobbit—a Boffin from Overhill, thank you very much—who is in a kerfuffle about whom to throw my Hobbit-sized support behind. Fo...

Also, if I recall, the medical staff. ☺️

Blasphemer!

Ahh, the “fuck your feelings” crowd is once again deep into their own.

Why are people always a “hot mess”? Is no one ever a cold mess? What would that even mean?

We need to make it hurt.

Doesn't get more accurate than this.