"the new york mets" do you even hear yourself

While everyone else is yelling "go Brewers" or "go Mets" I'm yelling "one adult for Conclave, featuring John Lithgow and Ralph Fiennes, only in theaters."

I’m Thom Yorke and if you’re looking for an “okay computer” you can’t go past a Dell Inspiron 15 Laptop. It’s basically fine

Sorry I did that, I promise it's because I'm stupid, not evil

love when an evil guy in an action movie plays the piano. it’s such an evil coded instrument. good guys play the saxophone or guitar

ted cruz should be taken from town to town in a cage. children should be able to poke him with broomsticks and call him freak

DWdaveweigel.bsky.socialOct 3, 2024 1:29am

Reading the new Ted Cruz book.

Surreptitiously sliding a John Wick coin to the cashier at McDonald's so I can get a milkshake even though the machine is "broken"

ME: Jesus christ. The Chicken Man? When was this? BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: last night ME: fuck.... well, at least his house is okay BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: *looks concerned*

Today Jimmy Carter is officially too old to play with Lego

Pete Rose trying to get into heaven