for about five minutes every day I stop trying to be rational adult and give in to the internal monologue that is constantly screaming WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE VOTE FOR THAT GUY AGAIN then I go back to pretending we aren't a month out from finding out if we have a dictator

I ❤️ potatoes. My insulin no longer does. Potatoes are now a sometimes food and I will die mad about it.

It has the same flavor profile as regular coke but also that nasty artificial sweetener aftertaste that coats your mouth and LINGERS

We don't generally let people pour sewage into public swimming pools. Don't see why we should let people poison the internet with toxic generative "A.I." misinformation and bullshit.

You had me at ‘still use the Oxford comma…’

first of all, i am a delight you fuckin, dumbass.

My WTF meter just pegged.

Pretty sure your local TV weather man is less volcano lair supervillain and more put a sweater on or you'll be cold mom.

*𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵* *𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵* “Holy shit…”

Electing them only encourages them.