In general I think it’s good to ask yourself “am I worried about exploitation or am I expressing bourgeois anxiety about compensating ‘women’s work?’” 🤣 At the end of the day, housekeeping is a job, and it’s not coal mining. Pay well, tip well, provide proper tools.

this there’s a spicy flavor of shame for not being able to be effortlessly self-sufficient in a glossy-looking way and it tends to get attached to the kind of work women are supposed to be good at when you see people who look like they’re doing it really well, look for the invisible employees

In poor countries without good welfare systems (most of them), it seems that people are far more aware of this. If they are at all comfortable then they are likely to have a housekeeper, and it's often explicitly seen as a way to spread the wealth.

I’d suggest also working with an individual rather than an agency, since most agencies horribly mistreat the workers.

I think the shame comes from society’s patriarchal expectations that you should be getting a wife to do this for you for free. Which is sticky and silly.

If they need a tip, you weren't paying well.

And feed your cleaning people when they're there, FFS.

Thats such a good question. Would i feel this shame for getting a gardener, going to the bike repair shop, getting my pet groomed, getting my car washed, going to the laundromat? Nah

In a reality show called The 1900 House where a British family lived as Victorians the wife let the housekeeper go because she felt weird having a servant. My ex and I were YELLING because to run that household in 1900 you needed a staff! And you aren’t helping that housekeeper by firing her!

this is well put.